Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Glad to be free
Knowing sometime soon
I’d find me
And if I lost my way
I could go smile
In that secret happy place
That was all mine
But today I walk
With my feet so sore
As I realize that my place
Doesn’t exist anymore.
In my mind’s crammed rear
As I lie on my bed
And watch the fake stars disappear
The doubts gnaw on everything
That I once held dear
Laughter seems a distant echo
Indifference is what I fear
Now I wait and I pray
For the dark clouds to clear…
Friday, December 12, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
That white paper boat
Crisp, new and proud
Left to sail in the waters
All by itself
One very rainy day
When everyone’s away..
Plop! A drop assailed it
As it moved onward
On this perilous voyage..
They looked on
Waiting for it to sink
But it dint
Shivering, cold and wet
It bore the storm bravely
And the next morning
The sun shone bright
In the sunlight
But the boat now had
Nowhere left to go
So it waits for the day
When the wind would come
and blow it away
To unknown lands
Into unknown hands
So that they might
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
And opinions change so fast
Amidst all the chaos
and painted facades
I hope friendships can last.
Learning to sustain in life
what matters to us most,
And knowing that some things
are best left unsaid;
As the melancholy monster
of an irreparable past,
sleeps peacefully in our head..
so here( i take the easy way out and post something i dug out from one of last year's notebooks :P )
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
made me wonder..
which one is worse: evil for the sake of evil or evil for the sake of a reason(like money or revenge)?
and does having a justifiable reason lessen the intensity of the evil in any manner?
These random thoughts run through my head, here in India where bomb blast and riot stories have become stuff of Sunday morning breakfast conversations....
What is the world coming to?
‘’I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them.’’ –Christopher in ‘the curious incident of the dog in the night-time’ by Mark Haddon
Just had to put that up...i love the simplicity of language and complexity of thought that the book has in such good measure.
Monday, July 7, 2008
I feel weirdly homesick.But, i don't want to go back either...
I don't like the freshly painted hostel.My room doesn't seem mine right now.
it'll take a while to settle down again.And to be completely happy...
post - vacation blues?? maybe....
Friday, June 13, 2008
And yeah, blogging(not as often as i'd like to)
Holidays make me lazier than i already am....i'm glad that only 3 weeks are left before i see college again.(out of those, 2 are devoted to my guest, sanju:)..
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
He swam towards her, swiftly, the adrenaline flowing in his veins; making him feel a state of existence that heightened all of his senses. His fluid motions seemed one with the waves that he silently cut across.
As the last shred of consciousness left her, giving her a fiercely-desired reprieve from an all-consuming terror, she saw him approach her.
Her eyes opened to the room that had come to be her living quarters for the past 3 months.
His house. Her house, her home, her prison?
She wondered when he would take her out on that boat again;to leave her in the deep waters to drown. She couldn’t swim. He knew that, like the hundreds of other things he knew about her. Remnants of an irreparable past….
This was the third time he had thrown her aboard, bound and tied, struggling in vain. But, somehow, the moment when her mortal fear of death turned to acceptance, when she gave up on life and resisted no more, he appeared out of nowhere to take her back to the mortal world.
He enjoyed it, she knew. Watching her dread, her hopelessness, her surrender to the inevitable. She wished she could curse him; call him a sadist in her head, at least. But she couldn’t.
It was his overpowering sense of indifference towards her, her, not the body that struggled in the water, which she could not understand…
He watched her, his hands clutching the cool, metal railing of his boat. His knuckles white, his face expressionless. She didn’t fight today. Her lithe body did not thrash against the rising water.
He noticed her eyes. They had something in them that he couldn’t completely fathom. Was it hope?Did she think he would come again and hold her half-conscious body as they inched closer to the boat? Maybe it was…
The knowledge of her look gave him a sense of defeat. Then slowly, he allowed himself a smile. Today, he wouldn’t go. Today he would wait till he saw her last breathe being snuffed out. He wouldn’t go; for the sake of that one moment, that one look in her eyes when she would realise that he wasn’t going to come to save her today. The eloquent look that would say everything that was ever said, or should have been said between them…
Today, he watched her die.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Mihir-Wheelspin:y did the 12th man take the coke to tendulkar even though harbhajan wanted it ?
me: ummm???? dunno
Mihir-Wheelspin: bcoz hes the opener !
me: woow 9technically he's not nemore) :P
Mihir-Wheelspin: he was when the joke was manufactured
me: yeah obviously : :D
how does an elephant get up a tree?
Mihir-Wheelspin: he climbs ?i was going thru ur blog
me: nopie...he sits on a sapling and waits for it to grow :P
Mihir-Wheelspin: and reading abt the this yrs memories
Mihir-Wheelspin: as in the last years memories
me: yeah.....u and ur jokes :
Mihir-Wheelspin: yeah... tht memory where u sat in the complab till 8.. the jokes were sad...was tht pointing towards me ???
me: yep...as sad as mine :P
Mihir-Wheelspin: hehehee... am honoured
Mihir-Wheelspin: seriously.. i dont get it
me: okay how does an elephant get down a tree?? get wat?
Mihir-Wheelspin: y dont these peopleenjoy 'sad' kokes as much as we do
me: they do ......but they think its too silly to laugh at them
Mihir-Wheelspin: WAT THE HELL
me: but i like laughing so.... :P
Mihir-Wheelspin: exactly.... these people must be sad who doesnt like laughing
me: doubly sad :(( types :D
Mihir-Wheelspin: i think we should step up our efforts
me: yeah....the world needs us
Mihir-Wheelspin: right... we must help them realise the true power of our jokes... help them develpo the taste
me: yup totally...and thts how we will take over the world :P
Mihir-Wheelspin: no.. we dont wanna do ht ttht
me: no? :
Mihir-Wheelspin: no.... we just make help them develop the taste.. then they start cracking jokes themselves and thts how we progress the cause
me: ahhhhkkiees thtsa a nobler way kudos to u
Mihir-Wheelspin: thnx so ill strt.hers a stinker
me: a skunk? :D
Mihir-Wheelspin: an old lady died when she was 6 u decude
me: well the second she cud be nebody..... so it s a valid sentence just incomplte no joke :
Mihir-Wheelspin: it is how can an old lady die when shes sick
me: YIKES bravo!!!!!!!!!
Mihir-Wheelspin: i mean when shes 6
me: i'm confused :
Mihir-Wheelspin: ok agsain an old lady dies when she was sick oh no no
an old lady dies when she was 6 yeah thts right
me: okay...i thot we wer talkin of sad jokes not brain damage : hehehehe
Mihir-Wheelspin: hehehe... i am just suggesting the level we must drop to !
Sunday, June 8, 2008
A moment, a minute an hour
Lost in time, gone forever
Never to return
What did we do?
How did we use it?
A rapidly dwindling resource
The most essential of them all
Is tolerance a virtue?
Who says good things have to wait?
‘Just accept what they say’
Why should I?
I will believe what I think is right
So what if it might be a mistake?
I’ll make that mistake
Or else I’ll never know..
Don’t want any questions unanswered
Or experiences left incomplete
And that’s how it will be.
Whatever life brings to me…
-for all those like me who think waiting is a colossal waste of time.Patience isn't exactly our cup of tea :D
Friday, June 6, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
She wished she could hold the letter from her son in her hands, not read it on the computer screen. No, she realized, she didn’t want a print of the text that appeared in front of her on the screen, either.
She wanted his handwriting. His untidy chicken-scrawl that had made the task of reading his letters so wonderfully time consuming. The flow of ink, the way he stressed on the dots in the i's and j's and the bold off the mark slashes that cut through the t's.The careful folds of the paper, her awareness that he must have rest his hands on it, the way he must have held the pen in his hands when he sat down to write her a letter in his study… The intensity of these images was fading away, now there were no letters, just emails. She thought that she might be asking for too much, expecting hand written letters in this age of 2-min technology…but she missed keeping old letters next to her when she went to sleep , almost as if his presence was tangible in that singular piece of paper.
Count your blessings she told herself. At least he cared enough to send an email once in a while….thinking about the past and the happiness it had brought her would do no good.
Memories should always exist as entities meant to be treasured, not something that would bring resentment or grief to her present.
She smiled and reached for the ruled paper pad and her pen. She had a reply to write.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
It is a deeply philosophical book, has radical theories and challenges our notions about the world as we know it..
Think i'll put up a few great lines from the book soon....
Friday, May 9, 2008
The wait ends today...well at least for me.There is so much excitement bubbling within , that my smile seems stuck on my face.I'm finally heading home.It has been a long year...full of ups and downs.
I can safely say that all of us had our good and bad times, and that we have grown , as people and as designers in this year.for some reason i cant stop reminiscing either.....and i realize that the number of happy memories far outnumber the bad ones...
Here are some of them that are very vivid, etched in my mind like photographs.I write them down in fear of losing them.....so that i can make them eternal..........
Sitting in pizza corner for my b'day treat-with all of you guys:D
(that was fun, though it burned a mighty hole in my pocket!)
Going to sinhagad and getting soaked to the skin.....then eating kulfi and freezing half to death!!!
-with shruti,disha,varsha,vidhya and aditi
(spl.mention :the awesome food-bhajiya,chaas,pithla and bhakri.....yum!!)
Watching harry potter and the order of the phoenix-with huffy and derrick
(and we were the first ppl. to go and see it , coz i simply could NOT wait!!)
Getting bitten by the damn irritating bed bugs in the bus to goa(kyoorius trip).....and scrathing myself insane.
( burn in hell you nasty blood-sucking monsters!!)
Sitting on the swing in the house in goa talking about tennis-with sherry
(go justine and federer!!:P)
The long walk on the calangute beach-with Richa
(the things we saw were…ummmmm…interesting?)
Walking in the rain on the lonavla highway-With jemma , maya, sherry,hafsah and prachi
(loved the pointlessness of it all!!!)
Sitting in the 2nd floor comp lab for pranita maam’s assignment-with jemma and maya
(work mode!! But it was funsies :D )
The whole nazar na lage movie experience-with saurabh, sherry and maya
(remember the time we came up with the story? It was after
Eating breakfast of bread butter-with maya in the decembr hols
Laughing myself silly in the auto rickshaw when coming back from toons-with sanjyot(my laughing partner) ,maya, manav and jemma
Standing in the queues for the concerts, taking part in random competitions, eating the hostel 12 parathas and travelling in the local from kanjurmarg….all in mood-I 2007-with maya , manav and sherry
(mood I made me miss home a little less….thanks you guys for coming along. The year before was spent alone. And it wasn’t pleasant..)
Working for catch the train and falling asleep in the middle of the night on mrinalini’s lap-fundamental 2008
(aaaahhhh the fest times in college ..wish they would never end!)
Dance practice for auditions-pre fest 2008-with maya ,jemma ,shweta, teena, parita and nivi…(mauja is our song forever..!)
Siting in chopsticks after the announcement of the current core team-with sherry
( foodies forever! We will talk about food even when we are eating….;P
Doing the traffic signal project roaming around -with jemma
(yaaaaay! We came back in one piece and didn’t get lost too many times J
( The proximity to such natural beauty makes a thinker out of me….if I’m not one already!!)
The dip in the lake in mulshi-with maya , hafsah, sanjyot, sherry
( ahhhhhh the madness of it all….)
The super slow walk back to the animation lab-with maya
( it’s evil I tell you…animation!)
Working on my flash site in the college comp lab after 8 o clock-with the whole pd gang ( the jokes were very sad and my music player battery ran out…ouch!!)
Visits to jeevraksha-with maya (here’s to a lot more of them in the future!!)
Walking the streets of viman nagar-with maya ,sanjyot and mrinalini (majorly)
(and never being able to catch a bus when we really wanted to!!!)
Working on the advertising project and laughing at our ignorance-with sanjyot
( didn’t turn out to be that bad did it now?...)
Sigh….i’m tired of typing and remembering now….
I’m sure when I put this up , tens of other memories will pop into my head which I will regret not including...guess I cant put a year full of madness in one post. Still this This was my second year...thanks to all of you guys made it wonderful for me.Oh yes.. and the obligatory-I'm sorry for all the times I might have been stupid...
I love all of you.
Cheers to two more eventful years ahead!!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The loss of something that is neither needed nor desired, never becomes a matter of great concern.What you momentarily miss is a habit , only to be forgotton or cast away when other, better things come along to occupy your head.
It is the way of the world....
Saturday, April 26, 2008
She saw it all , trapped under the glass,
The solemn rites being performed
As mud came and obscured her vision
Took it away bit by bit....
Pushing her into total oblivion.
She saw her own face and hands
And the pain mingled with determination
That lined her entire frame
Just six feet above her,
She saw herself bury her alive......
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
It was a lazy summer afternoon. Sleep was neither desired nor welcome .he tiptoed past his parents and climbed into the rickety, dusty old attic. It housed many treasures. Among other things there was an ancient termite infested wooden cupboard. It was always locked. That never deterred him. He had long ago found a key that fit the lock and could pry it open.
Today he rummaged through the bottom shelf of this treasure trove. He had found many objects here…objects he considered supremely valuable. A foldable metal box with 3 compartments, a huge yellow top, a wig of matted hair, hundreds of kinds of marbles and so on.
Whenever he found something new in the cupboard he took his ‘friend’ the watchman kaka of his building. Together they sat and constructed fantastic stories of the origins and worth of these objects. Imagination knew no bounds, the physical world dissolved and a world of dreams was threaded, nurtured.
When did it all end? He wonders…
Watchman kaka died of lung disease the following year. The year when his family decided to move out in search of a better place, a better life. everything was forgotten.
New friends, new hopes, new aspirations.
The times spent in the attic seemed so frivolous ,so silly…
But today he had returned. He opened his hands to see that he had been holding the rusty key in his hand all this time, feeling the metal against his thumb. He knew why he had come back. In all his life he had been running towards something, looking, wanting , a desperate race that he tried to compete in and win. He had only realised now that he could never win this because he was never at peace; that probably he didn’t want to either. The times of the cupboard were times of innocence; yet awareness existed and the bonds of relationships were so strong that they had pulled him back to this place so many years later. Relationships with people, with objects, with places.
A decision was made. He wanted to live in the place where he knew he had been happy once. A knot was dissolved in his chest; the leech that was sucking the life force out of him was thrown away.
He realised that he owed it to himself and the world to do this and after 24 years he was at peace. Again.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
I will smile
You will never realize
That I hurt
I will not despair
I will go on
Even though the
Road I’m on
Leads to a place
I don’t recognize..
I am tired
I trudge along
But I will wear it
With a smile
My crown of thorns
A gift from you
For me, and it’s mine
To love and to hate
Sunday, March 30, 2008
He had come again today, as he always did, every weekend every month of the year. He had a bright blue bag out of which he extracted various colors of crisp, bright paper within which there were a myriad collection of candies. The candies had the most amazingly different flavors…musk melon, rose, cherry and lemon.
She closed her eyes. She knew the scene before her eyes without even looking at it. The children surrounding him, happy, squealing, their hands outstretched to gather the candy he had come again to distribute. Again.
She had wondered often why she didn’t join her friends when they went to acquire the candy. It was not like she didn’t want to taste them, to enjoy their sweet roundness lolling around in her mouth….so then what stopped her?
She didn’t know, couldn’t find the answer to the problem even after so much deliberation. Perhaps it was a prevailing shyness or a strange inhibition that told her that asking for something she wanted would be a mistake. She should wait for the thing to come to her. Was it an odd sense of pride??
She had seen him smiling at her often, a kind of invitation or a question in his eyes…She wondered if he would come and give her the candy after he was done with the others. He never came. She gradually got tired of waiting.
Now, she speculated if she was waiting for him anymore. She quietly limped back towards her house in the next street. Her prosthetic leg was giving her a little trouble that day.
A few weeks passed, when she wasn’t able to go and play outside on weekends because of a persistent cold that had left her weak. she thought of the candy man and his sweets as she walked towards the garden today. But today he didn’t show up…and she realized: She didn’t care for the candy any longer; perhaps she didn’t all along….
This thought gave her a calm feeling of liberation. She was free again.
She felt older, wiser….but she couldn’t pass up this opportunity to indulge in these outdoor games again. She yelled as one of her friends came up right behind her to catch her and she swiftly hobbled to her region of safety.
Her clear laughter rang through the garden. She was saved. Again.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Things that are always easy to do...
Being angry about the tiniest of situations
Venting frustration on innocent bystanders
Talking in riddles that nobody understands
Thinking of escape in any form..all the time
Playing the blame game
But what's easy might not always be right...
So we need to think before we act.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
but it is so temporary and futile ,i say
It tells me:
don't go down that path again,
it will destroy you
I falter , I listen, I obey
It reasons to me:
give it time
and the hurt will go away
so I lie in wait
for my escape, my release.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
The human mind is a fascinating subject of study. It never ceases to amaze me. For one, I can never understand the fact that literally hundreds of thoughts, emotions and ideas can run through it simultaneously at the same instant. How is such multi functional activity possible??
We have so many levels of consciousness. Only sometimes we can control them and other times we can’t. For instance, I keep a problem at the back of my head when it is necessary to concentrate on something more significant. It’s not like the thought, that entity is forgotten, it is just that it rests beneath multiple layers of comparatively more pressing issues.
This is perhaps why we sometimes have dreams that are completely unrelated to our present day lives.
Whatever the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind might contain, I know I shall manage to stay in control till the time I know when and how to arrange my thoughts. Though this too requires me to know myself better and I hope I am heading in a direction which does precisely that for me...
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sometimes I wonder if the overwhelming desire to do something worthwhile rules all our actions in life.
When I was younger, happiness was found lurking behind all corners, in the most insignificant of things....or maybe it was just that I needed no specific reason to be happy.I just was...Now, i want more from everything around and that has made me kind of forget the small pleasures in life.
Why did i just write this?? It might not be worthwhile....but who defines that term anyway??And why does it matter so much?
Sometimes, things should be done simply because you want to do them and there need not be any other reason for it.
So there.A blog entry about nothing in particular.Random thoughts.I felt like writing so i did.And i'll keep it that way now.